Don’t Rely On Others

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Fear is the cheapest room in the house.

I would like to see you living in better conditions,

For your mother and my mother

Were friends.

– The Gift (Poems By Hafiz, The Great Sufi Master), Renderings By Daniel Ladinsky

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It’s our habit to get dependent on other members of society. We rely on them for food, water, clothes, and shelter. Even to make ourselves feel happy, others have to pay the tuition fee. We live at the expense of others. We live on them like a parasite.

Our mental health depends on the behavior of other people. One compliment can make us feel good, and another word of criticism can make us feel bad.

It’s others who decide what we’ll eat and drink, what we’ll wear, and what will be our home’s model. They determine what we’ll study and be in our careers. It’s their decision who’ll be our spouse.

They determine our self-worth, and we live a life of slavery.

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You would think that I’m criticizing those who control our lives. No, my friend, I want to open your eyes to witness the truth. It all happens because we’ve given them the power to rule over us. We don’t take the initiative for us. We think and feel weak, and hence everyone enslaves us.

You can talk about freedom, but you’ll find that you’re a victim of people or circumstances if you look at your past. The outer environment controls us because we don’t have internal control over our heads and hearts.

We think and act foolishly. We destroy our future for the instant gratification of the senses in the present. We make ourselves weak with our bad habits.

No one is responsible for our misery. We have created this mess, and only we’ve got the power to clean it. Today we can stand for ourselves to decide for ourselves. We can start writing a new life story by working for our dreams and goals with enthusiasm.

We can decide not to be enslaved by anyone, anymore even if they’re our parents and teachers, relatives, or friends. We can work hard to make our dreams come true rather than acting on some belief to make everyone happy.

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My intention is not to inspire you to become a rebel. I want to light a spark in you so that you can stop relying on others for everything. I want to make my own decisions, and I expect the same from you.

I want to see you strong and flexible with your body and mind. I want to witness clarity in your eyes rather than confusion.

My greatest wish is to see you independent, both emotionally and financially. I want to witness you as a creative being capable of expressing herself without fear and guilt.

Next time I talk to you, please respond to me with confidence without losing your self-esteem. I want to look at you and feel happy that you’re living your dreams. I want to witness a person who loves herself more than anyone on this planet.

That’s what I expect from you, my friend.

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