You can’t transform yourself with the abuse, criticism, and insult you’re inflicting on yourself. The more you’ll hate yourself, the more self-destructive you’ll become.
If you want transformation, you must first accept yourself the way you’re with all your strengths and weaknesses. The deep-rooted fears and desires, jealousy, egoism, infatuation, attachment, and affliction; it’s all within you. You can’t remove it all at once. You’ve to give yourself the most precious commodity available on the planet- time.
The childhood traumas, the escapist tendency, the cowardice limerance, and the orthodox belief system you’re carrying that works against you- do you think it’s possible in a day or week to resolve all of your issues?
You’ve invested years in mastering those tendencies that rule your life. You’ve learned well how not to produce anything of significance, and you’ve tried your best to install habits within you that can ensure your failure. In short, you did your best against your success. You left no stone unturned to make your life miserable, and now you think you can reverse it all with mere a wish- how can that be possible?
Please don’t deny the process of transformation. Be grateful for what you’ve got and keep working with love for what you don’t have. Focus on the process, not on the outcome. Always do your best at your desk without thinking about the paycheck. The day will come when you’ll learn all the trade tricks, but today, focus your attention on learning, not earning. In this way, you’ll transform your life.
I guarantee you that if you remain loyal to the inner voice of your Self, one day, you’ll be proud to say- thanks for all those moments of pain that taught me the way of life. You’ll become successful in the endeavor you’re pursuing.